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party girl
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the name is lindsey. i'm overdramatic and like to be inspired. i'm finally 16. shopping, photography, acting, creative writing, and of course boys pretty much make up my life. vegetarian of 2 years, 4 months (that's 854 days!)
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goals
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Reach 100
Wizard of Oz show
Alice in Wonderland show
Buy Wii Fit Plus!!
something to do
someting done
something to do
someting done
something to do
someting done
something to do
someting done
something to do
someting done
something to do
someting done
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C&P Couture
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Jealous?? GOOD! Get a layout just like this from Cut&Paste Couture!
C&P Couture
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| I’m a bitch I’m a lover
I’m a child I’m a mother
I’m a sinner I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell I’m your dream
I’m nothin’ in between
You know, you wouldn’t want it any other way
The lyrics above are from a really good song by Meredith Brooks entitled "Bitch." The song is basically about all the layers of ONE person, and how you really can't define them by just a single layer, and if you take something away, they wouldn't be the same person.
I face this everyday. People will look at me and say, "Hey, there's that vegetarian girl." or, "Hey, she can't have kids." or, "I heard this one time she..."
I know exactly who I am. I am not that one incident in the locker room or my recovery from anorexia or even my acting skills. If people would look past me, past the epidermis, into my heart, they would know this. They would understand why I am the way I am. But people are so quick to judge.
I noticed that I had resigned myself in the past year to not contributing too much in my classes. If I say so myself, I'm rather bright, and have a lot of input. But because of my intelligence, many people have written me off and I've had a hard time making friends.
I recently realized that I'm not content with simply sitting back. So I started talking a lot more during classes, and guess what - I started learning more, and I felt a lot better about myself! I even made a new friend!
I've learned that I can't sit idly by and allow people to inhibit me. I'm going to go far in life and I'm not letting anyone hold me back. That's just not me.
But I will tell you what is me. (Beware, it's a lot to read, but I'm ranting, so you don't have to if you don't want a crash course in Lindseyology.)
I'm Lindsey. I'm 16. I'm a Christian. I'm a writer. I'm a recovered anorexic. I'm a vegetarian working on vegan. I'm a G&T student. I'm a fan of all types of art, both viewing it and participating in it. I'm an actress. I love tattoos. I love piercings. I'm afraid of the dark, being alone, and not living my life to the fullest. I'm a virgin. I want to visit every country before I die. I love to laugh. I love hair dye. I like to be fashionable. I love to shop. If I don't listen to music constantly I'll go blind. I get insane migraines. I cry a lot. I like love letters and teddy bears. I want to live in California and NYC, simultaneously. I sometimes think I'm losing my talent. I have a hard time letting go. I love spontaneity and acting like a fool. The smallest bit of inspiration can send me into a spiral of creativity. I love little kids. I STILL want to run off to join the circus sometimes. I'm a geek. I'm bossy.
If you really don't want to read EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, just read the sentence below. It pretty much sums me up, which is kind of hypocritical since I'm against all that...
I want to be remembered not only for the good stuff, but the flaws too, so no one has to think they have to be perfect in order to contribute.
Did I miss something? Probably. Because I can't define every inch of even myself, so how can you? | | |
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Okay, we've all seen them. Playboy, Penthouse, Maxim. They exploit beautiful women so guys will have something to jack off too. That's not the point.
The point is that, for some unfathomable reason, the people who design these photos decide to picture the models consuming fattening foods. Their mentality is something along the lines of, Oh, all that hydrogenated oil is just turning me onnnnnn.
First of all, what kind of fantasy world are you living in? Do you even think she'd be caught eating all of those empty calories outside of a photoshoot? Do you think eating fattening, over-sugared food is attractive?
I like a person who can take care of themselves. That's the ultimate turn-on, not slathering chocolate mousse and whipped cream over your body.
Food like that is not attractive. Especially not when you depict tiny women who are the "sheer image of perfection" and shove it into a guy's hands. Did you know eating those foods kills your sex drive? Audrina Patridge isn't so sexy now, huh?
I'd like to see a Playboy fold-out showing a girl eating healthy for once.
What other "societal norms" make you gag?
NOTE: This has nothing to do with my former anorexia. I just don't find advertising cake and a lifetime of junk food attractive. | | |
| I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be trailer trash.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I WRITE POETRY, so I MUST be depressed.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm SHORT so I must be a MIDGET.
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| I'm a recovered anorexic (who suffered silently), so I have every right to give my opinion, because I know what you girls (and guys!) go through. I'm not someone who indelibly hates on you because you are skinnier and prettier, blahblahblah. I'm not going to call you stupid because you don't eat, because I know personally how hard it is. So don't get angry with me.
For non-ANAs.
Anorexia is a disease. Actually, it's a result of a disease called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I still suffer from bouts of BDD but am no longer ANA. Anorexia is where you consume little to no food in an attempt to lose weight. It is often confused with bulimia, where you consume normal to large amounts of food and then throw it back up.
When you refer to an Anorexic as stupid, you are not helping their situation at all. When you say things like, "At least I eat," or something equally as harmful, you are just breaking their self-esteem down farther. Less self esteem = Bad self image = Less food intake. We see anything negative about ourselves as a reason to fix by way of starvation. Not perfect? Just eat less and then you'll be skinnier and everything will be perfect. That's how ANAs minds work.
When trying to help someone recover, you don't combat THEM, you combat ANA.
For ANAs.
What you are doing is harmful to your beautiful bodies. I know it's hard to look in the mirror and see who you really are. I know you want to be like the models you see in magazines, but the hard truth to swallow is this: those pictures are FAKE. Photo editors use airbrushing and photoshop in order to make models look better. Nobody on this earth is perfect.
ANA is not your friend. She's trying to make you feel bad about yourself so she feels better. ANA uses thinspo to show you how she thinks your body should be, when the only person who truly knows that is GOD. God made you into the beautiful person you are, and you're letting ANA make you think different.
Not eating hurts you. You are taking nutrients away from your body, the same nutrients that can help you lose weight. So in the end, you HAVE to eat to survive. Yes, in some ways, it will be harder. You'll lose weight S L O W E R. But you'll feel better, and you'll have enough energy to exercise which is the healthy way to lose weight.
If you eat right, you won't GAIN WEIGHT. Your mind and body will thank you because they will work faster and harder, and you'll be happy again, I promise.
I know what it's like to be BFFs with ANA. She tells you lies about yourself, she tells you that you need to change, and this next 10 pounds will be it, she promises. If you lose these last 10 pounds, you'll be perfect. But when you finally don't see those 10 on the scale anymore, she comes back and says you need to lose MORE, MORE, MORE.
So please, get someone to help you break up with ANA. She was never a good friend anyway. | | |
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